lane and sorrow: love detectives.

Got a love problem? Worried about whether or not you should break up with your significant other before college? Worried that you won't get laid at WesFest? Confused about who you slept with last night?

J.M. Lane and L. Dam Sorrow are willing to hear your troubles. If there is a case, they will take it on. Their goal is to solve, "crimes of the heart, specializing in finding out who has crushes on who, who touched what parts of who, and the identity of your drunken one night stand. ("Who was that girl that I slept with last night? She had brown hair...and a...umm...vagina?")" They are Love Detectives.

If you have a case, give them a call at 206.350.0875. Rest assured that you will not speak to an actual person upon calling the Inquiry Line.